Archive for October, 2008

She IM’d me earlier from her dad’s place…seems she got her SAT score online and had no idea of how to read the results. 

At first, she says, “I didn’t do well.”

Pushed, she gave me this number…480.

Inside my head I said 480 YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME.  SERIOUSLY.

So, we talked some more and I looked some stuff up and realize that if you get 480 on critical writing, and 480 on math, and 480 on writing…then your score is 1440, which is WAYYYYY BETTER THAN 480. 

Her first pick has an SAT requirement of 960 and top half of your class….

so, she has a 1440 and in the top third. 

So, yeah…by the time we finished, she was feeling a lot better about herself and her score and her ability to follow her sisters into college.  I’m just so glad that i was here to talk her off the ledge.  Dad and Dianna were in the bed when she looked up the scores, so there was’t anyone there to help her understand she did fine. 

There is room for improvement, of course, if she chooses to retake the test, but really, she is fine right now if she wanted to go ahead and apply this very second.  But the thing about the Senior is that she holds herself in comparison with her older sisters, who, she thinks are way smarter than her.

And believe you me…I’m putting the KYBOSH on that.  That One doesn’t have any reason to place herself in their shadows.  It really bothers me that she doesn’t see herself as just as good or better.  I think after tonight, she might start.  And granted, she is a bit overwhelmed by all of this, given the fact that she is going into her college career much like a breech baby at birth…

feet first and kicking.

much like how she entered this world to begin with. 

So, I’m not hugely surprised that she is entering this new phase of her life feet first and kicking and screaming, since that is how she came into this world to begin with, but now my job becomes getting her ready for the new stuff…and making her realize she is capable and ready…well, nearly ready.  But once we talked, she realizes that she is, or will be, ready when the time comes. 

And since I have talked three kids through this process so far, i am confident that I am up for the job.

That One is going to be just fine…I will make sure of it


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This morning I sent out the Mr for ink cartridges for my newly acquired all-in-one Dell printer I acquired at a garage sale last weekend.  And man, i gotta tell you that this all-in-one printer was SAH-WEET.  It can SCAN AND FAX AND COPY AND TAKE MY REFRIGERATOR LEFTOVERS AND MAKE THEM INTO FIVE-COURSE DINNERS.

A very short time after I dispatched the Mr to the Walmart, I received the first phone call from the
Walmart from the Mr.  As it turned out, it was cheaper to buy a completely new Cannon All-in-One printer than to buy ink cartridges for the Dell All-in-One AND the throwaway Lexmark printer. 

Now, would someone please tell me why it is cheaper to buy a complete new tricked out printer/copier/scanner than to just buy a freakin’ black ink cartridge? 

To me, it screams to me that while we yell and holler about recycling and diminishing our carbon footprints, when it comes down to it, ‘they’ make it easier for us, and cheaper for us, to just buy a new one.  And I know of what i speak, since in my office at this very moment there are two 70-dollar keyboards that no longer work, 1 printer that we never used (also bought from a garage sale sans printer cartridges), one PC, one PC that we used for a little bit but it was way too out of date, one scanner, one brand new printer that didn’t work with Vista, and one old Canon printer that just quit working. 

Why do they make it easier to just get new ones…while I sit here drowning in old, outdated, impossible to fix equipment?  I have a problem with the fact that ink cartridges cost more than a brand new printer.  what is ink made out of?  GOLD?

For petesake, my old printer was just fine, but then it became cheaper to just buy new ones…new computers, new TVs, new microwaves…

So, will someone please tell me how it is that we are supposed to be responsible for our carbon footprints when ‘they’ make it much easier and cheaper for us to just get NEW ONES? 

and to close this post, does anyone need a Dell All-in-One printer/scanner/fax/copier? or how about an old Canon inkjet?  or how about a brand new Lexmark inkjet?  or how about a few really expensive Microsoft ergo keyboards that suddenly stopped working right?  or a complete Dell system that doesn’t really work so well?  or maybe the original Compaq computer system that I bought from the phone company back in the day.

i’m thinking about setting up a table out in the front yard and having the boy sell all this shit that I’m swimming in for 10 bucks a piece, just to get it out of here.  Sort of like a lemonade stand, only electronic components…

man, ya’ll, I just gotta get this crap out of here.


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Long about the time that the ‘seasons’ start to change here at the Casa, we tend to get critters and bugs that seem to have an inate need to GET INSIDE MY HOUSE. 

In the summer, it’s the freakin’ waterbugs…and for those of you who are phobic about insects, I will spare you the picture…just picture a regular cockroach who was fed a steady diet of metabolic steroids for a year or so. 

And know that during the summers here at the Casa, we deal with them a lot.  They don’t do a whole lot other than freak people the hell out when they are in the bathtub or crawling across your ceiling, ready to drop onto your head and eat your face…because they are just that big.

Our fall/winter plague just happens to be rats.  We happen to live on a big plot of land, which adjoins a neighborhood that adjoins a big ass corn field.  So, we have field rats that go looking for a warm place to stay over the winter. 

i felt sort of white trashy about the fact that our place was being inundated with the field rats. 

That is, until I watched the nightly 10 o’clock news and realized that the rat invasion isn’t just confined to white trashy places in Cleburne.

NOOO, as it turns out, the rats also like FAINCY places like Frisco, Texas, where rats are also on the move and chewing up faincy Lexus fuel lines and encroaching faincy houses in FREAKIN’ FRISCO.

so, yeah.  I don’t feel so bad that we have field rats encroaching on our perimeters…

well, by encroaching I mean that we are throwing rat poison around like candy at the Christmas parade.

Oh, and here’s a little known fact…rats can…uh, climb trees and make conduits into YOUR SHED…and they often mock you…

all i can say is that now that Friscoe folks are dealing with the same plague…i just feel better.

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how funny…

Joe the Plumber is named Samuel.  And he isn’t licensed.  

I kindly figured that dude was a McCain plant from the get-go.

In other news, i think I flipped the Mr last night.

I showed him some interesting sarah palin clips on youtube.

who knew youtube would come in so handy.

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you know bought not one, but TWO pairs of shoes today.


that sort of thing is completely foreign for this one. 

but dammit, i bought a buttery brown shaker sweater this week and i really, really needed brown shoes, so I got a cute pair of boot-y sort of shoes and a BROWN PLAID PAIR OF CLOGS ferpetesake. 


My friend, Lesa, who popped in adorned in her Elizabethan costume (after the fall festival at her school) was completely taken aback that i’d bought SHOES

YEAH, historically, i don’t buy shoes…so, here’s to me for surprising someone today.


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Here at the Casa…

we have entered into the week of fall…after which we enter the Indian Summer…then maybe we will have another week of fall…and then we’ll have a week of winter…then some more fall…then some more Indian Summer…and then we’ll have a few weeks of winter before we head into spring. 

But after living here for most of my life, you won’t find me fussing about it.  I appreciate this first cool front, even though I realize that more than likely the Boy will be sweaty when he trick or treats in a few weeks…

OR we may very well freeze to death.

that’s how it goes here. 

Bottom line…you’re either going to be sweating or freezing come about October 31.  Furthermore, you might very well be sweating at Thanksgiving, too. 

By Christmas, thankfully, it is at least cool, and we’re always grateful for cool because at least we aren’t sweating. 

My good friend, Kristin, lives in Nebraska and fusses about the cold and the snow and the cold and the snow…and I fuss about the heat and the heat and the sweat…

in a perfect world, we would just change houses for a year or so…and believe you me, if I didn’t have kids in school, I’d probably do it.


Then I’d want to come home to Texas.

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that ‘fresh feeling’

When I was a kid, watching All in the Family and Maude and Rhoda and One Day at a Time, the worst commercial I had to sit through was for ‘feminine products.’  In the All in the Family days, to be sure, I didn’t even know what they were talking about, but I knew enough to feel a little uncomfortable watching it with Mom.

A few years later, when the Massengill commercials were on, all I could think about, while the mom and daughter were walking down the beach talking about being ‘fresh’ down there, was the fact that mother’s best friend’s last name was Massengill.  The ads were oblique enough that I didn’t get that they were talking about wooshing your private parts and innards with strawberry scented liquid so you would be ‘fresh.’

But, somehow, I still knew they were talking about something immensely personal!

Hell, I remember being a little girl and going potty at my mom’s friend, Ikey’s house, and seeing this HUGE BOX OF FEMININE NAPKINS…and somehow, I just knew they weren’t the kind you put in your lap at dinner.  When I heard mom and Ikey talk about ‘napkins’ and ‘belts,’ i knew they weren’t talking about wiping your mouth and holding your pants up.

All that said…

I wonder what in the hell it is that our 8-, 9-, and 10-year-olds think when they see the advertisements for some of the products they advertise on TV these days.

Let’s take Viagra/Cialis/Levitra.

To them, the kids, what they see is a mom and dad looking all lovey dovey and sitting in adjoining bathtubs naked smiliing at each other…accompanied with a voice over about how you can ‘be ready’ whenever the time is right.  They also throw out ‘healthy enough for sex’ and ‘erection lasting more than four hours’

If I am 10, I’m thinking what the hell do you have to be so ready for…and what is an erection.


OH, and what about the commercials for HPV?!!?  Dane was about 8 when he made the observation that if one of the people in the commercial had a disease, why was he so smiley and why was the other girl so happy if her friend had a disease…thank you, Valtrex, for making HPV seem so smiley.

Then, we have the K-Y commercials, especially the Him-Her campaign, in which she has hers and he has his and together MAGIC HAPPENS.  Hell, my GROWNUP kids have got to feel a little uncomfortable when that one comes on while we are trying to watch PROJECT RUNWAY!

Nowadays, it isn’t enough to show a nice teenage girl riding a pony and implying that with ‘this personal hygiene product’ you can ride horses and swim, NO, now we have to show the product and how it will expand to your contours so you won’t experience ‘leaks.’

not to mention that commercials for adult pads for leakage…

The commercials we have now are much, much more suggestive and I have to think these kids are wondering what contours, what leaks, what is erectile dysfunction, and what the hell is Herpes Simplex Virus.

and yes, they will find out about all that stuff, as they will need to do, but dadgum…

can’t it wait until they hit junior high and the school system takes care of sex education for me? 

Cuz, good loward, i don’t want to explain why that mom and dad are in adjoining bathtubs naked all smiley and holding hands like the one is going to hop in the other and go at it.

call me naive, but i wonder if our kids need to be so exposed to so much marketing for erectile dysfunction and K-Y products and Valtrex…

and yes, I realize that this makes me sound like one of those kooks who won’t educate their children about their sexual health, but really…

the ad with the mom and the dad about to go at it because dad took his Cialis…and then, DAMMIT IF THAT KID FROM COLLEGE SHOWS UP UNEXPECTEDLY…well, that one makes me uncomfortable…probably because I have kids who might very well come home from college and catch me and the old man about to get romantic in the kitchen while Dad is fixing the sink.

I don’t know about other 10-year-olds, I only have mine to go by…but I’m pretty sure he is inundated with this stuff that he will only find out about in a year or two or three…and maybe I’m naive, but I’m thinking…couldn’t some of this stuff not be advertised at 7 p.m…or 3 p.m…or 8 a.m.?  Call me naive, AGAIN, but seriously…couldn’t we wait til 8 p.m. to talk about erectile dysfunction and erections lasting more than four hours.

Could we, please?

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